"Alienation is the human condition, love the human necessity", said the professor.

His tone was sincere, his eyes focused on the truth.

It was the first day of class and my 22 year old mind was in a puddle of anxiety after hearing those words.

You feel it in your entire being when a truth hits you; it is disturbing to your existence.

I dropped the class.

Perhaps it was that same semester, when I found myself in an auditorium, a different professor began to speak with silence. He pushed play and the auditorium filled in its entirety with classical music, with an immensity I have never experienced.

For a few short minutes my entire being was overwhelmed with wonder, with intensity, with emotion.

The acoustics were glorious. The professor passionate. The feelings, were undoing me.

I dropped that class too.

You might be inclined to think that it is such a simple thing to sit in a classroom and participate in the conversation about this or that.

You would be right.

But we weren't talking about this or that.

You are looking at yourself without being told you are looking at yourself.

You are confronting your discomfort with being.

You are engaged in an intense emotional unraveling with everything you believed yourself to be.

It feels as good as it is frightening, to see yourself stripped of everything that gets in the way of you experiencing yourself for who and what you are.

And to do so with a pure, unperturbed, conscious awareness...

The rapture has begun.

Now...

I don't know what would have happened if I stayed in those two classes. But what happened, happened.

Life itself was going to work on me, clearing out all the self-deceit, the internal niceties and superficialities.

It was going to force me to confront its power. It was coming for me.

And privately, I wanted it.

Just as you wanted it; just as you want it, even if you don't realize it.

It is what you want.

Intimacy with the life force.

I will say more this week.

Emeric

​www.EmericDamian.com ( share if you wish )